However,
1. I'm not a vegetarian, but eating an egg is the most overt way to mock new life at the dinner table. Deviled eggs, in particular, can smell like death when they aren't cooked right. And nothing deviled can be cooked right in my opinion. How could something deviled ever be right?
2. If as many people like deviled eggs as they say they do, why don't any restaurants sell them?
3. Eggs are a breakfast food, and people should be in church on Easter morning.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Conventional wisdom suggests an 80's party will always be fun
However,
1. If the DJ thinks hair bands deserve to be in heavy rotation on the playlist, he's as wrong as the guy checking ID's who thinks slap bracelets must be worn by everyone 21 and up.
2. Statistcally, squares represent the majority of 80's party attendees and they aren't hip. They weren't hip in the 80s and they aren't hip now. Sorry Huey, saying (or singing) it's 'Hip to be Square' doesn't make any sense. *
3. What if you're the youngest person at an 80's party, decades younger. As in, everyone else is at least 80 years old and the only thing keeping the situation from being worse is that you wore a California Raisins costume.
*For a definition of the word square, ask the guy by the punch bowl wearing a Michael J. Fox jacket, piano tie and neon sunglasses (indoors) who is trying to start a game of brat pack trivia. Or, google Huey Lewis and the News.
1. If the DJ thinks hair bands deserve to be in heavy rotation on the playlist, he's as wrong as the guy checking ID's who thinks slap bracelets must be worn by everyone 21 and up.
2. Statistcally, squares represent the majority of 80's party attendees and they aren't hip. They weren't hip in the 80s and they aren't hip now. Sorry Huey, saying (or singing) it's 'Hip to be Square' doesn't make any sense. *
3. What if you're the youngest person at an 80's party, decades younger. As in, everyone else is at least 80 years old and the only thing keeping the situation from being worse is that you wore a California Raisins costume.
*For a definition of the word square, ask the guy by the punch bowl wearing a Michael J. Fox jacket, piano tie and neon sunglasses (indoors) who is trying to start a game of brat pack trivia. Or, google Huey Lewis and the News.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Conventional wisdom suggests it's embarrassing for an adult to order gummy bears as a frozen yogurt topping
However,
1. Adult men who cut out of work early to squeeze into their baseball pants from high school, speed through 5:00 traffic so they have time to pick up chewing tobacco and, when they arrive at their destination, curse at a man paid $20 to umpire a softball game, their softball game, a game designed for young girls, are considered more manly than Frank Sinatra drinking scotch at a poker game.
2. A Lady Gaga ring tone is considered a more acceptable way to interupt a business meeting than changing positions in a leather chair and creating a sound that describes how I feel about Lady Gaga's music career.
3. Gummy bears are delicious, and that doesn't change based on who is judging the person enjoying them. It should be more embarrassing to not remember how gummy bears taste.
1. Adult men who cut out of work early to squeeze into their baseball pants from high school, speed through 5:00 traffic so they have time to pick up chewing tobacco and, when they arrive at their destination, curse at a man paid $20 to umpire a softball game, their softball game, a game designed for young girls, are considered more manly than Frank Sinatra drinking scotch at a poker game.
2. A Lady Gaga ring tone is considered a more acceptable way to interupt a business meeting than changing positions in a leather chair and creating a sound that describes how I feel about Lady Gaga's music career.
3. Gummy bears are delicious, and that doesn't change based on who is judging the person enjoying them. It should be more embarrassing to not remember how gummy bears taste.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Conventional wisdom suggests this blog won't last for more than 3 posts
However,
1. After this post, I only need two more posts. So if my public education serves me correct, I'm halfway to three already.
2. Charlie Sheen has put a spell on all bloggers, forcing them to take a stand against winning, warlocks, tiger blood and drugs named Charlie Sheen. That's more than three blog topics already.
3. People who upload videos on YouTube can always serve as default content.
1. After this post, I only need two more posts. So if my public education serves me correct, I'm halfway to three already.
2. Charlie Sheen has put a spell on all bloggers, forcing them to take a stand against winning, warlocks, tiger blood and drugs named Charlie Sheen. That's more than three blog topics already.
3. People who upload videos on YouTube can always serve as default content.
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